Let's Talk About Pornography

I bet that got your attention, didn't it?  This is a serious topic and I want to share some serious candid thoughts about it.  Last night our Stake President (Mormon lingo for regional leader over several "wards" or congregations) called a meeting for all youth in the stake (ages 12-18), their parents and leaders to come talk about the serious effects of pornography.  In the past three months this summer FIVE missionaries from our stake were sent home from their missions due to problems with pornography or chastity.  This amazing video summarizing some of the key lines of Elder Holland's Priesthood talk last October is so powerful and shows exactly the kind of experiences these young men had when they got on their missions and were unable to preach the gospel effectively due to their past transgressions.



Two of those boys talked about their experiences last night in front of an audience of 500+ of their neighbors and peers.  Talk about courage.  I was so impressed with the way they handled themselves, focusing the majority of their remarks on the reality of the atonement of Jesus Christ and it's miraculous power to cleanse, heal and restore.

A few of the remarks that hit me to the core during this meeting were the following:

1) Directed at parents, Steve Cook said that what our parents did to raise us will NOT work on this generation.  With the internet and cell phones, evil is literally streamed straight into our homes and is just a click of a finger away.  He talked about being open and honest with our children, constantly communicating with one another and creating an environment where our children will know that they can approach their parents about any trial they may be experiencing.

2) Kids need to know that Satan is real and that he wants to destroy them.  He wants us to be miserable like he is and pornography is one of his greatest, most powerful tools to destroy individuals and families.  Our children need to know the enemy they are fighting and the weapons he is using so they can protect themselves.

3) They shared several statistics, one of which was that the average first exposure to pornography is age 9 and that 97% of all teenagers have had some kind of exposure.  This tells us that we need to be in the mind set of how to teach our children to avoid these things and how to react when (NOT IF) they are exposed to it.

I'm sure each of us have a story we could tell about yourself or someone you know who has encountered pornography.  This does not make a person evil or sick, but if the issue is not addressed, pornography, with it's addictive and destructive nature, can deteriorate and eventually destroy the conscious and the spirit.

Do not think because you know people entrenched in the addiction of viewing pornography that this is today's standard behavior.  Do not think that because it can be seen privately on a hand-held device or on a secluded computer screen that it isn't hurting anyone.  Do not believe the lies of the world.  Viewing pornography is wrong.  It distances us from God, from our families and from our loved ones.  It skews the way you view relationships and the way you feel about yourself.

If you or someone you know is struggling with pornography, I want to assure you that repentance is real and the healing power of the atonement is miraculous.  There are many people and programs who are dedicated to helping you overcome this addiction and rid yourself of its cancerous effects.

One such program is  Fight The New Drug which is an organization that was founded by my dear friend Josie (Olsen) Kelly's brother, Clay Olsen.  At Fight The New Drug, they travel the country giving assemblies at schools and teaching kids about how scientists have discovered that pornography actually REWIRES your brain and produces a chemical response that is as addictive as any hard core drug.  A quote in their packet of information reads: 

"Pornography, by its very nature, is an equal opportunity toxin. It damages the viewer, the performer, and the spouses and the children of the viewers and the performers. It is toxic mis-education about sex and relationships. It is more toxic the more you consume, the “harder” the variety you consume and the younger and more vulnerable the consumer. The damage is both in the area of beliefs and behaviors."

- Dr. Mary Anne Layden, Director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology at the University of Pennsylvania

Fight The New Drug is approached solely from a medical and social stand, rather than a moral and religious view.  They are talking about pornography, not only because of it's spiritual impacts, but from it's profound influence on society and health as well.  Check out their site or even invite them to come talk to your school - such a cool program!

Another wonderful site and support group is found at LDS Addiction Recovery Program.  The Mormon church has produced a fantastic 12-step addiction recovery program found on this site as well as so many other good resources to help recover from any number of addictions.

The main point is to let you know that pornography is a real epidemic sweeping the country and it is time we started talking more openly and combining forces to put a stop to it.  Talk to your loved ones.  Be honest and open with one another.  Be loving and supportive so that together you can overcome this trial.  I encourage you to communicate with your families and have a candid conversation about pornography so that we can protect one another and keep each other strong.  If you have any ideas that have been effective for teaching your children about this sensitive subject I would love to hear them!