Visiting Grandma Bush and Family Heirlooms

On Sunday evening, December 30, a few of us were able to drive across town to Legacy House to visit my Grandma Bush.  I haven't posted about this before, but the past few years have seen a dramatic and rapid descent in the health of my Bush grandparents.  They have lived in The Dalles, Oregon for 34 years and refused to move while they were still doing well, resulting in a few terrible years of trying to get them to move closer to my Dad and his siblings until they got to the point that their health was so bad they no longer had a choice in the matter.  In a matter of months my Grandma went from her lively, bubbly self, to being completely incapacitated by dementia.  My parents now have Grandpa living with them and had to put Grandma in a care facility in town about 4 months ago.  It has been an immense challenge for all of them to adjust to this new stage of life.  

Uncle Kirk, Dad, Grandpa Bush, Uncle Doug and Grandma Bush working in the yard at my grandparents' home in The Dalles, Oregon.

G-ma and G-pa Bush right before the decline about 3 years ago.

Dad said since about 2 weeks after they moved her into the nursing home, Grandma stopped eating, talking, and looking at people.  They go over every day to see her, sometimes a couple of times a day.  Dad reads to Grandma, plays piano to her and the other residents of the Alzheimer Unit, coaxes her to eat and brushes her hair to help her feel relaxed.  Although it has been difficult for him, it has also been a sweet experience for him to reverse the roles and care for his parents in this final stage of life.

I actually hadn't seen my grandparents in person since Burke and I were newly weds, so walking into the nursing home and seeing my Grandma was pretty unsettling and hard for me.  Grandma was sitting in a chair with her eyes closed, her usually dyed-brown hair shock white against pale skin.  At first she wouldn't open her eyes and she barely acknowledged our presence, but Cassie sat right down, took her by the hand and told her she had brought nail polish to paint her nails.  April took the other side of her, Mom settled down with Lydia and Maia, Burke held a snoozing Daphne and soon Tasha showed up to talk with Grandma too.  Dad pulled me over to the piano where we sang through "The Forgotten Carols" and the next thing I knew, I looked over and Grandma had her eyes open and was whispering nearly inaudible queries in Cassie's ear.  Dad was delighted - he said it was the best he has seen her in weeks.

Okay, funny side story.  While we were all gathered around Grandma, I looked around for Burke to see his reaction to something and found him sitting in an empty wheelchair next to the piano, trying to pop a wheelie.  I pointed this out to Cassie who pulled out her camera to snap a picture of my silly hubby.  Less than 30 seconds later we heard a crash and a jingle of bells - Burke had toppled over backwards with his feet crashing into a basket of jingle bells next to the piano.  I don't know what was better - the laughter it elicited from our family or seeing another resident shaking with silent laughter on the other side of the room! He was so embarrassed and now here I am recording it for posterity's sake - what a good sport!

When we got home that night and put the kids to bed, we had our family book club and shared thoughts on the short Christmas story, "The Mansion" by Henry Van Dyke.  Afterwards, my Dad pulled out a golden wrapped present under the Christmas tree that was addressed to each of us girls.  We opened it up and found a stack of papers inside with each of our names, as well as our daughters' names on top.  This is what each paper said:

To the beautiful granddaughters of Jeannine Bush,

As you know Grandma and Grandpa recently moved out of their OR home.  While packing up their things we found over 50 hankies beautifully pressed and kept safe in Grandma's dresser.  I don't know if these were originally all Grandmas, but I'm sure some were passed on from either Great Grandma Anderson or Great Grandma Bush.  Whoever they belonged to, I know that Grandma would like you all to have one as a reminder of her love of beautiful things and her love for you.  Tucked away with the hankies Grandma had this saying:

Fill your heart with Beauty

And Beauty will come to you.

Fill your thoughts with Love

And Love surrounds you.

Seek always Truth

And it shall be yours.

For as you believe

Are all things made manifest unto you.

With Eternal Love,

Grandma Evelyn Jeannine Anderson Bush

At the bottom was attached a handkerchief on each paper with a unique pattern embroidered in the corner making them each lovely and individualized.  Then Daddy brought out another box full of beaded necklaces and brooches and we were instructed to each pick one.  I'm totally selfish and found the one I wanted instantly while the other sisters politely tried to decide on the remainders.  They were nice and just said I'm the only decisive sister - a positive spin! :)  Here we are all wearing our necklaces, brooches and holding our hankies.  As always over the holiday, there was a hole where our sweet Chelsea Ann would be in these pictures, so Mom is standing in with the brooch and necklace that will go to her.  It was a tender moment and it evolved into several hours of talking and laughing late into the night with my darling sisters and mother.  Oh how I love them!  Just looking at their faces gets me teary-eyed.  I wish upon wishing that we all lived closer so we could be together more often.