Little Star Preschool

My cute neighbor Lacie Robinson and I had talked for months about doing a Joy School for our little ladies.  Her daughter, Olivia, is just 3 months younger than Daphne and when both of our girls are in good moods, they play so well together.  The week before Darcie was born, we decided to do a trial run Joy School and I offered to do the first lesson at my house.  There were supposed to be 4 kids, but it ended up being just Olivia and Daphne.  And it was a disaster!  Daphne was an absolute terror.  She bullied and disobeyed me and threw several fits in less than 10 minutes.  I was days away from having a baby, so my patience level was pretty low and I was so mortified by her behavior that I just barely got Lacie and Olivia out the door before bursting into tears.  Burke had been home for lunch and witnessed the whole embarrassing scene.  He was furious to see her display such bad behavior and we decided something drastic needed to change before our daughter turned into the neighborhood brat!  

Our initial attempts to take "first day of school" photos were unsuccessful. I promise she was really excited! :)

Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed as a parent.  I try so hard to be patient and loving (thanks Love and Logic - most of which does not work for our kid!), but then I feel like serious behavior problems or even simple safety issues aren't being addressed firmly enough for it to sink in.  So then I try the intense approach with her when she acts out to ensure she "gets it" by getting really serious or yelling.  All it seems to do is make her sad without clicking in her mind why I'm upset or why she needs to modify her behavior.  It's kind of a danged if you yell, danged if you don't yell feeling.

After the Joy School disaster, Burke and I started praying to know how we could help Daphne learn to get along better with other kids and to be more respectful and interactive with adults.  For the past several months it has been very hit and miss with her.  Sometimes she is a complete angel and plays perfectly with other kids, but more often than not they have conflicts.  I know part of it is the age, but I never want to blame it all on being 3.  "Oh, she's just 3, she'll grow out of it."  While I know sharing doesn't come easy to any 3 year old, I cannot abide my little lady being rude and hurting others just because they want to play with the same toy.  I also have felt torn between feelings of responsibility for her behavior ("I promise I did NOT teach her to do that!") and exasperation because she is her own little person, has her agency and will make her own decisions.  I cannot force her to make the right decisions, even if I would like to!

Daphne, too involved in checking out stories to notice I had come back.

Within just 3 days, we had our answer.  We were visiting with our Relief Society President who lives up the street and has run a preschool out of her home for 20+ years.  She has a huge waiting list due to her excellent reputation and school.  We mentioned how Daphne had been struggling and she told us that Annie Lister, who teaches her 3 and 4 year old class, just had a girl drop out and there was an opening if we were interested.  She said that Mrs. Lister didn't stress the academics, but was all about helping the children learn how to interact in a classroom setting, how to play nicely with other children and how to be confident in a social setting away from their parents.  As Daphne has known her alphabet and their sounds since she was about 20 months old, I haven't been worried about academics anyway and this sounded like it might be a good option for us to help Daphne learn some valuable social skills, yet I initially balked at the idea a little.

As Burke and I discussed it, I realized that I had a sort of anti-preschool attitude simply because I felt like everything she would learn at preschool I had already taught her at home.  I also felt that some people put their kids in preschool just to get them out of their hair for a few hours and I didn't want to shirk off my mothering duties to someone else for the sake of some extra "me time".  However, as we discussed, I realized that those social skills were exactly the kind of things Daphne had been missing out on because we are so rarely with other children.  She has been my constant little buddy for 3 and a half years and, sure, she might be able to sound out words with me, but if she can't interact positively with others, than I am doing a huge disservice to her by keeping us tucked away safe and sound in our little home.  As we talked, I realized I have some attachment issues.  I don't trust other people to take good care of her and so I've just avoided leaving her as much as possible to ensure her safe.  It breaks my heart to think of her going off to school and being outside of my sphere of influence for the majority of the day.  I hate the prospect of not knowing what is going on in her life every minute of the day when she goes to kindergarten!  Although I loathed to admit it, I realized that sending her to preschool for 2 hours on Mondays and Wednesdays might be the best thing for both of us to help us transition into the next chapter of her life.

It kills me how her backpack is nearly as big as she is!

So, despite being so hard for me to do, we signed her up.  Burke was at the store the day before she started when I realized she still didn't have a backpack.  Over the phone he told us our options: princesses, Dora the Explorer, pink sparkles or Ninja Turtles.  She didn't even hesitate.  And now all the boys in her class are jealous. :)  On November 3, my first born went to her first day at Little Star Preschool.  It was totally heartbreaking (for me) and exciting (for her).  But I  have to admit, a couple weeks into this, I am actually very grateful for those two hours to run errands, go to doctor appointments or just snuggle with Darcie quietly for once without my energizer bunny to look after.  And she is loving it too.  Annie Lister is amazing with these kids and I can tell it is already having a positive affect on her.  3 cheers for letting go and moving forward...a little at a time.