Becoming Home Owners - A Financial Paradigm Shift (PART TWO)

*More lengthy details for our history.

Soon after the conference message to "do more with less", Burke and I began house hunting.  Initially, I was just looking up houses on Zillow and the local real estate listings, but eventually I decided it wouldn't hurt to contact a realtor.  I called up ERA out of the blue and ended up being transferred to Donna Christensen.  I am so grateful we were teamed up with Donna "on accident".  She was so incredibly sweet and helpful to us during the entire process and in the end I can't imagine how we would have kept everything straight without her.  She helped us navigate the unfamiliar expectations, rules and lingo of buying a home.

However, even with Donna's help, the options on the market were pretty bleak.  Although the bank would lend us a significant amount more than the price range of homes we were looking at, we felt strongly we should try to find a less expensive home where we could easily handle the payment.  However, even though we were looking at more modest homes, I could not believe that people really thought their homes were worth so much!  I said to Burke countless times, "Are people out of their minds?!"  Donna gently reminded us that if we wanted a nicer environment, we should probably start evaluating how much we were willing to pay for a home.

This threw us back into discussion mode on a decision I felt like we had already made.  If buying a cheaper home meant "buying a cheaper home" would it be a better move to take a larger loan from the bank for a more comfortable environment?  And what exactly did Emily and Burke Adams need to make them happy in a home?

There was no doubt about it, we had been incredibly spoiled over the past 2.5 years.  When Lance and Celeste invited us to rent their home in Mesquite, I remember walking into their beautiful home with huge vaulted ceilings, tiled floors, huge open kitchen/dining room, etc., and feeling like we didn't belong there.  I told Burke on the drive home that we just had a brand new baby and we were fresh out of school.  We didn't need a gorgeous home like that.  And I have to admit...it scared me a little.  I didn't want to move in and become accustomed to that lifestyle.  However, they gave us a screaming deal on rent and we knew that was where we were supposed to be.  Fast forward to our move to Cedar City and we were similarly blessed to be in another beautiful home here, but by this time my fears had come true...I had become accustomed to a certain standard of comfort and quality!

At this point, we started to shift gears thinking that if a brand spankin' new home would cost us the same amount as these older homes we were currently looking at, than maybe we should just build and have the comfort of knowing the house would be in great shape as well as customized to our taste.  Truthfully, this option was incredibly appealing to me on many levels, but for one silly perk in particular...if we built a new home that would mean that not a single person's rear end would have ever sat on my toilet before!!!  (That may sound weird and gross, but I am a bit of a germ-a-phobe and nothing could be more exciting to me than to think of a brand spanking new environment that has never been dirtied by another family's germs.)  We figured that we could also do a lot of the work on the house ourselves or with the help of family and friends with specific home building skills sets (Uncle Curtis does tile, Mat does plumbing, Uncle Doug could dig the foundation, etc...) which would make this an even more economical decision.

So, in January, Burke and I met with a contractor to talk about building and to look at house plans.  The contractor was incredibly talented and great to work with, however, this option didn't feel right for us either.  As we started to factor in the cost of buying a building lot and landscaping, plus any upgrades or unforeseen costs on top of building the home, we realized we could get in over our heads pretty quickly.  Besides, a new fear that had been sneaking around in the back of my mind since we began the home searching process began to make it's way to center stage.  As we toured one of the contractor's beautiful new homes, I found myself internally criticizing the size of the rooms, the layout of the living room and more.  "No, those rooms are just too small.  Definitely not enough cupboard or counter space.  No tub in the master bath, definite minus."  I suddenly recognized this sickening seed of pride taking root in my heart and it really worried me.  I didn't like my mind set and the way I was beginning to judge other homes and lifestyle choices because they weren't as clean or new or nice as I wanted my home to be.

Now, I don't think it is a bad thing to want a comfortable environment, but I think when our hearts become so set on "the best" we can get, our priorities can become very skewed very quickly.  Once I had the realization that my mind and heart were heading down a dangerous road of inflated pride, I did an internal evaluation of the things that truly mattered most to me.

I decided that there were a few things that were essential to me in a home environment:

1) A place where we could cultivate a spirit of love and peace - where all who entered could feel welcome

2) A place where I could teach my children to be kind, loving, studious and playful

3) A place where my family could learn of Christ and how to be like Him

4) A place of cleanliness and comfort

5) A place of safety and security

When I looked at that list, I realized that the things that truly mattered were not the fancy light fixtures, the hard wood floors, double-sinks or bedrooms that measured 14x16 instead of 10x12.  I didn't need any of those things to form the kind of home that would bring stability and happiness for my family.  

I reflected on the environments that Burke and I grew up in.  We were both raised in smaller homes packed tight with siblings who shared rooms, who worked, played, fought, laughed and (in the case of the Bush family) sang alongside one another.  Growing up in our little red brick home, I was oblivious that we didn't have a lot of extra to go around.  I was deeply loved and loved deeply in return and that is what sticks out to me in my memories.  Sure, as a teenager I became embarrassed of our burnt-orange carpet and the duck-patterned wallpaper in the kitchen, but those things didn't effect the person I became or the wonderful relationships I forged with my family in that smaller living space.  Nor did it stop me from inviting my friends into our home and feeling that all would be welcome and safe there. 

Now my parents have upgraded to a gorgeous home where we can all fit comfortably when we come to visit and enjoy the peace and beauty of a huge back yard perfectly maintained by Mom and Dad's wonderful gardening skills.  But that didn't happen for my parents overnight.  And I shouldn't expect that my 26-year-old self could OR SHOULD be living in the same kind of lovely environment that they have earned after nearly 40 years of marriage full of hard work and sacrifice.

All of this and more was discussed as Burke and I prayed for guidance on where to go and what to do with our housing situation.  That very night, after having toured the contractor's newest home and having driven around to several available lots in town, I could not feel at peace.  When we got home, Burke had to go home teaching, so while he was gone, I got on the computer one more time to see if anything new had popped up on the ERA website.  I must have logged on within a few hours of this house being posted, because it hadn't been on there a single day.  It was small and old, no garage, no vaulted ceilings or fancy entryways.  In short, it was nothing like the beautiful home we were considering building, but the minute I saw it, I knew we had to go see it. I texted Donna and within a few minutes we had an appointment to go see it during Burke's lunch break the next day.    

I'm out of time and energy again.  I guess I'll have to finish this in one more installment.  If you're still reading, you're amazing!  I'm certain this is only interesting to Burke and I, but I feel it's important for us to preserve for our children one day.