Documenting the 1st Trimester as a Preggo

Thanks for all the well wishes and support for our upcoming little one.  We are thrilled and look forward to being parents on, or near, June 9th.  We certainly were surprised (as I had anticipated 6-12 months of trying after getting off the pill) and we took a positive test the very next month!  It will work out just swimmingly, because I will still get to finish my student teaching as an 8.5 month whale as long as he doesn't come early.  And the best part is that Burke will be a Daddy a month before he turns 30!

Burke and I telling the family our big news on Thanksgiving Day!

This first trimester has been quite miserable as I have been sick sick sick every day.  Whoever came up with the term "morning sickness" was either a wishful thinker or a man.  I know it's different for everyone, but I have a churning stomach, headaches and dizziness from the moment I wake up until I fall blissfully asleep every night and can escape my discomfort in dreams.  I throw up nearly every day and my gag reflex is out of control.  Every time I brush my teeth I start dry heaving.  In fact, I am swallowing hard this very moment just thinking of it!  It's been such a relief to have my family "in the know" now because I don't have to try and explain away why a baby diaper, the turkey gizzards or even just the sound of spitting will send me racing to the bathroom.  Burke gets a kick out of my throwing up (little punk) and has to remove his giggling self from the room or he will hear a scathing, "So NOT helpful Burke!"

While taking a picture of me  getting ready the morning of my Senior Thesis Presentation, Burke caught on film my flight to the bathroom for a morning yak.  Nice.

HOWEVER, lest this sound whiny, please know that being pregnant is the most amazing process!  I am so miserably sick, but it is for a purpose.  There is a sweet infant growing inside me at an exponential rate!  My friend, Andrea, told me about thebump.com where you are sent weekly emails telling you how your baby should be growing and developing that week.  I get so giddy each week when I find out that our little one is the size of a prune, and then a lemon, and now a plum!  I lay in bed grinning as Burke talks to baby through my belly button (he thinks of it as a microphone connecting to the fetus) and tells him to take it easy on me and how he can't wait to meet him.  I sigh as Burke brushes his fingers through my hair when I'm feeling like poo and tells me how amazing I am for choosing to be a mother.  He goes to the store to get me ginger ale, cheerios and grapefruit (since those are the only foods I can keep down!), rubs the knots out of my shoulders, tells me my pooch looks beautiful and even indulges me in walking down the baby isle to take inventory on all the purchases we will need to make in the next several months.  He is understanding when I come home from 8 hours of class completely exhausted and have no desire to eat or do my homework or anything but just lay in bed and try not to throw up.  He'll just sit on the edge of the bed and play soothing guitar music and sing silly lyrics to make me laugh.  Just writing this I feel such an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my incredible husband.  He is my best friend and still loves me even when I don't feel like myself and moan and groan for 2 months straight.  What a champ.

Some people have wondered why we waited so long to tell our big news.  In the first few weeks I had some problems and worried that I may be having a miscarriage.  We went to our doctor at week 7 and he didn't hesitate to take an ultrasound and see what was going on inside.  Our little one was too small to hear the heartbeat or see anything beyond his little lima bean shape, but there on the screen, was a very distinct fluttering that showed the palpitations of our baby's heart.  I didn't realize how scared I had been to lose our little one until I saw that heartbeat on the screen and realized in that instant that there is nothing more important I could be doing with my life.  Not teaching my own high school English classroom, not getting a masters degree, not traveling the world with my husband.  I am going to be a mother and there is no opportunity or blessing in life that can compare to that!  I always worried that once I had kids I would feel unfulfilled if I couldn't continue my education or teach, but now I know with complete certainty that this child will be mine and Burke's greatest responsibility, challenge, stress and joy.

I certainly look forward to exiting the first tri; to eating and enjoying it, to more energy and to have a distinct belly so people don't wonder if I'm just getting chunky!  However, I feel that Burke and I have already grown closer and gained a new perspective on life and what really matters.  Here's to nurturing the bump and the baby within!