Thunderstorms

In the past month or so Daphne has transformed from playful toddler to demanding two-year-old.  She knows what she wants (or often DOESN'T want) and she wants it NOW or you're sure to hear about it in the form of whining, crying, flailing, and collapsing to the ground in a puddle of despair!  My sister Chelsea and bro-in-law Dixon have coined a phrase that perfectly describes one of Daphne's signature moves when she begins throwing an especially dramatic fit.  They call it the "Suicide Dive".  This is when you are holding your child and they suddenly arch their back like an eel trying to escape, wriggling and throwing themselves in your arms while screaming and howling, throwing their head back as if in agony at your touch.  The kid just assumes you're going to keep them from crashing to the ground in inevitable injury and you have to do everything you can to keep them from killing themselves.

Destructo Baby at it again - no joke I was in the bathroom for less than 2 minutes and when I came out she had managed to find a permanent black marker and draw all over her forehead.  Awesome.

In our house, the Suicide Dive is executed most often when I have to physically remove Daphne from a situation because she is either, A) about to hurt herself, B) about to wreck havoc, or C) refuses to obey and must be man-handled to get her to comply (ie: when she needs her diaper changed and runs away from me screaming bloody murder until I finally catch her and wrestle her onto the changing table...it's beyond ridiculous).  Sometimes, Daphne has been awake for all of 2 minutes and I've just had time to come in to her room, wish her good morning and transfer her from crib to changing table when she decides she most definitely does NOT want a bum change and she starts the day off with a rip-roaring fit.  This makes for a really long day because it generally means she is going to fight me on everything from eating, to bathing and napping.  I feel like in the mornings and early afternoon I handle it fairly well, but by the time Burke gets home from work if we've had 12 tantrums that day, I am so over Little Miss Demanding's attitude and can get pretty short with her.  Burke of course hasn't seen the previous 12 tantrums, so he often thinks that I'm being too harsh and encourages me to be more patient or to speak more kindly, which is usually when I start crying or get snappy with him as well.  However, by the time she is asleep for an hour I forget what a pill she has been and tell Burke everything she did that day, even if it was full of sassiness and frustrations.  Other days, like today, things go exceptionally smoothly and we spend our time happily and peacefully moving from one thing to the next without incident, but those days seem fewer and fewer lately.

Last week we had an unexpected and delightful morning thunderstorm.  With the horrendous heat we've been enduring, it was a welcome relief.  Daphne and I grabbed coats and dashed out the door to enjoy the last sprinklings.  She was being such an absolute delight, splashing with glee as she ran up and down the gutters, her birthday umbrella from Hallie clasped tight in her hands.  We had already gone through a few episodes that morning, but I felt confident some play time in the rain would brighten our whole day.

Unfortunately, the wind began to blow in great gusts, whipping Daphne's umbrella around and dumping her in the street, smearing black sludge from her cheeks, all the way down to her heels on the right side of her body.  She was pretty brave, and it was mostly just dirt rather than injuries, but after a few more minutes of resumed play, I decided we had better go inside to take a tub and warm her up and avoid further bruises.  And just like that a happy moment turned into a drama fest.  When I told her it was time to clean up, she screamed like a banshee and took off running down the gutter in the opposite direction.  When I realized she wasn't stopping, I started to jog after her.  Looking over her shoulder she saw me coming and start bawling and screaming, darting out into the middle of the street.  She knows she is absolutely forbidden to go into the street and although there were no cars around, the fear of thinking what might happen to her if there ever are cars around made me really upset and I broke into a run.  By this time she had crossed to our neighbor's house and had latched onto the stepping rail for George Gault's giant truck and was hanging on for dear life, all the while screaming and bawling.  I'm sure we looked like a complete circus as I tried to pry her off of that car, the wind howling around us, the rain picking up and her abandoned pink Minnie Mouse umbrella tumbling end over down our street.  When I finally pulled her off the truck she proceeded to throw one Suicide Dive after another and I was gritting my teeth in anger, trying not to flip out myself as we headed for home.  Getting her inside, cleaning her up, feeding her and putting her down for her nap resulted in a series of fits and by the time she was finally asleep, I threw myself onto my bed, completely discouraged and feeling like a horrible mother.  

I noticed a bulk in my pocket and pulled out my camera that I had used to snap a few pictures of Daphne playing in the rain before the drama began.  Even though I had been beyond frustrated just moments before, I couldn't help grinning at the beautiful images of my daughter, a little burst of color and life on a stormy day.  I thought to myself how the images were pretty fitting for this stage we're going through right now.  During our days, there are almost sure to be an unexpected thunderstorm or two, but we can either choose to smile and enjoy the rain or end up unsettled by the thundering.  When I stop to think about it, I'm grateful that Daphne has a strong personality, that she is learning to exert her will and that she has opinions of her own.  I know that strength will be a great blessing to her down the road and who do I think gave her that stubborn streak to begin with?!  I love my baby girl tremendously and feel so grateful I get to be her mother, even on the hard days.  I just have to focus on the positive, keep calm and learn to dance in the rain when it comes our way!