Daph Stats: Two Years and Three Months

* I wrote this post about 2 weeks ago after a few challenging weeks with the Phode. However, almost as soon as I documented my frustrations in this letter, she did a 180 and has been a complete angel baby again the past couple of weeks, napping, asking politely for things, etc.  I guess we just go in and out of stages.  Love this little lady!

My two greatest loves

Dear Daphne,

I just went back and read my letter to you on your second birthday and I had to shake my head as I realized how much change you've had to deal with over the summer and consequently how much you have changed.  You've had some major tumult in your life what with the move to a new city, a new house, a new ward and all the other "new" and unfamiliar things that come along with that move.  Besides Daddy and I, you are no longer surrounded by the familiar faces of friends and neighbors who have filled your days since you were 4 months old.  Besides the new environment, you were also potty trained in July and on our first night in the new house we decided to switch you to a toddler bed.  Throw a new puppy dog and a big dose of 2-year-old independence into the mix and we're looking at complete upheaval!  These are big changes for anyone, but for a two year old, I think your little world has been completed rocked and we have seen the impact on your behavior.

Moving into the new house in Cedar - we spent 2 hours at the grocery store and she was perfect the whole time (miracle) so when she asked for the Elmo balloon I couldn't help myself!

Truthfully, we have had extreme highs and lows over these past few months.  Let's talk about the lows first so we can end on a positive note.  After a week of potty training you were doing really well and by two weeks you had it down!  However, a week later Daddy was offered his new job in Cedar and I was so distracted by packing that week and unpacking the following two weeks, that you really regressed in the potty department.  So much so that you were waiting to go #2 until nap times, then disgusted by anything making you dirty, you would take off the your pull-up and throw it in your garbage can, accidentally dumping poop turds on the way to the trash.  We wouldn't discover this until you woke up from your nap and would come out of the room with a bare bum!  I decided to "start over" and give you the attention, praise and encouragement I had been forgetting for the past couple of weeks and now you are back in business with just the occasional #1 accident if we get busy and forget to remind you to go.  I also discovered the key to your motivation - chocolate, gum or suckers!  We don't do many sweets around here, so you are extremely excited by any opportunity to earn some sugar. :)

Burke texted me this picture after a potty success - she was so proud of herself!

Now, let's talk about the whining - oh the whining!  Any time you need or want something you instantly break into a fake cry while demanding that I give you milk, carry you down the stairs, let you go outside, etc., etc.  Often, your words get so tangled up with your crying that I can't even understand what you want which makes you more upset and increases the fit intensity.  I generally tell you to take a breathe and try asking again with a big girl voice (repeated 2 or 3 times), which usually calms you down, but I am getting exhausted with the continual repetition of this scene.  You never start with a calm request, which is so frustrating because 90% of the time it's a request where I am happy to comply and help you.  I find I can am quite patient the first few hours of the day, but by the time nap time rolls around my patience is usually wearing thin.




Which leads me to my last frustration with you at this age.  Nap time.  Oh boy - what a doozy!  Like I said, our first night here in our new Cedar home, Daddy decided to reconstruct your 3-in-1 crib into the toddler bed rather than the 4-sided-crib.  I wish I would have had my camera on hand when you saw it because you were beside yourself excited, giggling with delight and proudly climbing in and out with ease.  I was nervous to see how you would do with the change, but the first 2 days went awesome - you didn't get up once!  However, since then, you have been reveling in your new-found freedom and have tried to become a no-napper, which has been a rude awakening to this Mama who has been dependent on nap time for the past 2 years to regroup and conquer my To-Do List.  If you were capable of staying happy throughout the day without a nap, I would simply give in, but I have seen what a monster you turn into after 4:00 when you have fought a nap all afternoon and gone without rest.  This past week I have tried everything from laying down next to you, to singing songs, offering treats after nap-time, sitting in the rocking chair to make sure you don't get out of bed, scolding, and putting you back into bed over a dozen times for 2 hours straight.  On Friday I was at my wits end and collapsed into tears, so worn out and at the end of my rope with you.  You came out of your room (again) when you heard me crying in the hall and came over to crouch down next to me whispering, "You ok, Mama?"  When I shook my head, you put your arms around me and whispered, "I sorry Mama."  And then before I could answer, you soothed me saying, "It's okay."  All my frustration melted and I held you close until you squirmed out of my arms and ran into the playroom laughing.  You definitely won the battle that day!

Today has been much better.  You were up at 5:50 AM, but rather than be frustrated, Daddy and I got up with you, bundled you up in the jogging stroller and went running as a family.  You and I then took Roxy to the park where you played on the equipment and then went home for a breakfast, scriptures and stories on the couch, 30 mins of coloring and practicing our letters during Tot School, tug-a-war with Roxy outside, puzzles in the living room, vacuuming the house, lunch with Daddy and then the dreaded nap time.  Today I took a new approach.  Rather than putting you back in your room a million times I simply got down on your level before we went into your room and told you that once I put you down for a nap, there would be no more coming out.  I tucked you in, sang a song, closed the door and set up camp outside your door.  With a pillow for my back and bum, I sat next to the door and did my personal scripture study for 45 minutes while I listened to you run wild inside your room.  Rather than call loudly through the door that it was time to sleep, I simply stayed silent at my station and every time you went to open the door, I held the handle tightly.  You tried to escape 5 times, but were deterred each time by the "stuck" knob.  And then, miraculously, you became quiet and still, laying down all by yourself and drifting into dreamland.  I was overjoyed! :)  We'll see what tomorrow brings, but I think I have found a stress-free way of dealing with your no-nap attempts.



As you can see, we have had some difficult adjustments in the past couple of months and there are still many things for each of us to work on.  I am learning how to be more patient and how to channel your strong personality into constructive pathways and you are learning to deal with your emotions and (*hopefully*) listen to your mother.  I have discovered that being the mother of a toddler brings all my hidden weaknesses boiling to the surface: my desperate lack of patience, my obsession with order, my selfish desires for more "me" time.  I want so badly to be an all-star mother to you, but too often my inadequacies seem to drown out the vision of the mother and the woman I want to be.  I am trying sweet one, I am trying.



I'm not sure how a letter about your development turned into a vent session of our current challenges, but perhaps it will be good for you to read that there were periods of time in our lives that were not all smooth sailing and sunny skies with my sunshine baby!  However, there is so much goodness about you that deserves documentation as well, let's not waste another moment on the challenges!

For one thing, your sense of humor continues to develop much to our great amusement.  You love to point to things and call them nonsense words now and then look at me with a sly grin just waiting for my mock dismay so you can throw your head back and cackle.  You love to wrestle with your Daddy and command him to, "Be nice to Daphne!"  Daddy likes to say, "Oh YEAH?" To you and now you'll say it to him any time you want him to come tickle and wrestle with you.  You are still very social and love other children, gasping any time you see kids outside and calling out for "friends!"

Thumbs up, crayons in ears, echoing our words, pulling faces, etc...

You have recently become very opinionated about what you are wearing - especially your shoes!  You love boots and socks and often spend half a non-nap-time changing from one pair of shoes to another.  You loathe having sticky or wet hands/feet/anything and will squeal in horror until the offending drop of water is wiped from your toe.

Daphne LOVES these boots Mia hand-me-downed to us

You now know all your colors and can recognize the lowercase letters along with their uppercase counterparts.  You still love to read and will finish the sentence before I can if it's a book we've read a few times through.  You are still obsessed with identifying people's emotions, whether it be a crying baby in church or a drawing of a cartoon dog, you will say, "He's surprised" or "Daddy's happy" or "Dat baby's grumpy."  You are a swing fanatic!

You're always up for an adventure, whether it be riding a horse, cruising around on the 4-wheeler, trying the rides at the fair, etc.  You are over your fear of nursery and are in no hurry to go when we pick you up.  You wave to strangers and elicit grins from lonely looking men and women who are cheered by your unguarded friendliness and gestures of kindness.  You love to read scriptures and say prayers several times a day.

You are heavily influenced by your cousin Laney and trail her around, copying anything she does.  You are still BFF with Millie and still butt heads with Jaders - I think it's because you both are so strong willed.  You adore your grandparents, your Aunt Krissy, your Daddy, your Roxy puppy and your Mama (except when I'm disciplining you!).  You have your Daddy wrapped tightly around your finger!  You are putty in his hands when he tells you stories about "Wallace the Walrus" and his latest travels around the world finding gastronomical delights.

Daphne enraptured by a tale of Wallace the Walrus

Some of my favorite things you say right now are:

1) "Ooo! Dat's spicy!"
2)  When starting your prayers you jump right in saying, "Pray Mama. Pray Daddy. Pray Daphne. Pray Woxy."  We have to back track and remind you to open your prayer with, "Dear Heavenly Father."
3) With arms stretched wide you call "Ta-Da!" anytime you come out of your room having changed your outfit/shoes.
4) "Hi."  This is always whispered when you come out of bed late at night, sneak slowly into the room with a thin smile and your chin burrowed shyly into your chest due to the uncertainty of our reaction.  Melts my heart every time.
5) "Good girl Woxy!" or "Oh Woxy, you're so cuuuute!"  Both cooed at Roxy in a way high-pitched voice.
6) "Nope." Said so matter of factly when we ask you to do something and you have absolutely no intention of obeying, but you aren't saying it to be defiant or sassy, just factual.
7) "My Miwky!" (Milky) - asked for twenty times a day.  You would drink milk and eat nothing else all day long if we let you, so we have limited you to a sippy after breakfast, at your nap and before bed.
8) "I needa go potty!" This is now the greatest bedtime stall tactic in your book, followed next by a request for more milk, a story and you even have pulled out the excuse that you need a band-aid to delay sleep. :)
9) Anytime you say "I love you Mommy"
10) All your singing.  You walk around singing made up tunes over and over all day long to simple phrases like, "go get my shooooooooes"

I know there are more, but I can't remember them at the moment and this nap time is drawing to a close.  Just know, little lady, that despite the challenges we have now and those we will inevitably face in the future, I still love being your mother.  If given the choice again, I would choose a life of mothering you every time.  You and Daddy are the sunshine of my life.  You are my darling sassafras - oh how I adore you!   Grow on my little one.

Love you forever and always,

Your Mama