Mary Jane's Love Letter

Two weeks ago, two large packages showed up on my doorstep.  I knew exactly what they were and I could hardly wait to open them!  Here they were at last: 34 copies of Grandma's history, perfectly pristine in clear, shiny, shrink wrap.  As I've said before, this book represents hundreds and hundreds of hours of work (previous posts about GG's history HERE, HERE and HERE).  I am so grateful I had this window of opportunity in my life to create it, but I am also feeling a lot of anxiety over the finished product.  What if those 34 books go out to the aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters who ordered them and they are disappointed?  What if they think I chose the wrong format in which to chronicle MJ's life?  What if they think my writing stinks?  What if I left out something essential from the first 25 years of her life?

As if to confirm my fears, last week I was organizing the boxes Uncle Thayne sent down to me in the spring.  He was so kind to let me access the family artifacts in his possession and I wanted to return the favor by organizing them into binders according to family for easy access.  As I went through, I realized I had never even touched the folders labled 1960, 1970, 1980.  I had been so busy gathering all the information on the 1940's and prior that I hadn't even looked inside them.  Although I doubted there was anything of use (the folders were thin with Hallmark birthday cards sticking out), I decided to quickly sift through the contents just in case.  To my great astonishment, delight and horror, there, in the 1970's file of all places was an 11 page love letter from Mary Jane to Otto (my grandmother and grandfather) when she left India in 1946  AND a pile of letters from my great-great-great grandmother Catherine Berry dating as early as 1859!!  I felt absolutely sick that these letters had almost gone undetected and, worse, that this beautiful love letter between MJ and Otto was not included in the 34 copies of her history that I had just received from the printer.  We're talking over $1,700 bucks on books here and they are all void of the most treasured letter I have read from my Grandma.*Silent Sob*

I can't even type about it without my stomach knotting a little.  So, I will include the text here and send the link out to my extended family so they can enjoy her beautiful words as well.  I'm so sorry family that I didn't come across this earlier in my research, but hope you will enjoy this touching remnant of our family history.

Mary Jane’s last letter to Otto in September 1945 before leaving India.  They had been married just 3 months.  She stayed with her parents in Pennsylvania for nearly 4 months before the two were reunited again just before Christmas.

Darling Otto:

            Please keep smiling no matter how it hurts, just for me?  Please sweetheart, don’t let the memory of us together almost everywhere here make you sad.  We’ve had so much happiness here, while others have been longing to regain what we’ve been fortunate enough to posses.

            Dearest, it isn’t as thought we were parting, never to see one another again.  We belong to each other and know it, and should have faith enough in the power that brought us together to carry us over cheerfully until the time we’re home together again.

            It won’t be home until you come sweetheart. I’m going away from my real home for a little while, and for the first time in my life I’m “homesick.”  Wherever you are, Otto, that’s home to me and always will be.

            But darling, in everything I do, you’ll be there in my thought. And in everything I do, I’ll try to be as I know you would like me to be. I’m so proud of you and I always want to be such that you’ll be proud of me.

            Please sweetheart, know that although we can’t reach out and touch each other’s hands, we’ll never really be apart, not for an instant!  You are in my heart so deep you’ll never be able to get away from me, and if you feel lonely, please remember the days when we were really alone - the days before we knew and loved each other.  You make me so happy, and your loving me and wanting me makes me feel so happy and secure.  Even though I ache inside and feel cut in little pieces over having to leave you now, I’m so thankful to belong to you, to be Mrs. Otto (M.J.N.) Ellsworth, and to know that it won’t be very long until you come and bring home to me again.  I’ll be learning to cook all the things you love and I think I’ll even concentrate on some piano lessons so we can sing and play together.  There’ll be your mother to see and the girls; packages of chilis to send you, and a pair of nice bathing trunks, letters – nice long ones – funny ones and dreamy ones – to write to you, and receive from you – sweaters to knit for you and the little fella’ (please take good care of him) and all kinds of things to work on so they’ll be ready for you.  You’ll be in my thoughts all day (just as you’ve always been) and in my dreams all night, so you see darling you aren’t away from me at all.  Your love makes me so happy, I want to show my appreciation for it by being cheerful and trying to make everyone I’m with a little happier for having been around me.  I’m going to be funny and amusing and help the other gals who’ve left their husbands here too, be cheerful and bright.

            Please, Otto, do more of all the happiness that’s ours, and of all the happiness awaiting us when you come.  Please don’t let yourself brood, but just for me darling keep working, making things, planning things, and playing ball and boxing and being cheerful around the men and making them laugh a lot and helping them over the long wait they’ve had before they can join their wives and families.

            Please start now writing to me so that when I get there, your letters will welcome me.  I’ll write everyday on the boat, and if we stop at any ports, I’ll mail them if it’s at all possible.  Please tell me everything – your aches and pains, your joys and sorrows – every little detail – even what seems routine and common place.  I want to go through everything you do and think with you.

            Please start on those plans for the portable rig – and see what other mechanical things you can make.  Do shoot a tiger for me and describe the trip.  Do tell me about the rains, the sunset, and sunrises, the flowers and trees, and birds – the hills and rivers, the boat and the engine, and our friends.  Please tell me all about the trips down the line – the funny little things that happen to the guys, and the new things you’re installing. 

            Please don’t fret when things go wrong, and don’t let things upset you and make you cross.  Do as you always have – do what’s fair and right, no matter what.  I’m with you always and will always back you in anything and everything you undertake. 

            We’ve both go pioneer blood in us, and we’re strong and happy in our love for one another and if we allow our temporary separation to cloud our past and present happiness we’re being ungrateful and undeserving of all the good that’s been ours at a time when over half the world’s been subjected to unhappiness and reduced to tears. 

            We have an obligation to life, to try to return all this good and happiness we’ve known and are going to continue to know together.  I love you Otto, more than you can ever know or dream, and we’re going to have a beautiful family and wonderful life together forever and ever –

            You adoring wife. (what a wonderful feeling it is to be your wife! It’s so nice to hear you say “my wife”) You are the most wonderful, wonderful husband, and I’m so proud to be able to say “this is my husband.”

            Be good and cheerful darling and please, please write often.  I love you.

                                    Your Mary Jane

Isn't that such a tender tribute from a young bride hopelessly in love?  Her optimism, gratitude and devotion are inspiring.  I hope 34 of you enjoy reading more about the first quarter of her life when you get your copy in a few weeks!  Love to you all!