Brave
Last week, Burke was gone for a whole work week (Monday night thru late late Friday night) for training. A WHOLE week people! For a super clingy wife, this was a big deal for us me. The longest we have ever been apart was 4 days for girls camp, but I was so busy keeping the girls on schedule that the time passed quickly. This was to be the first time that I have ever stayed at home doing our normal routine with Burke gone, the thought of which had me nervous for days.
As I've mentioned before, I am a 25-year-old 'fraidy-cat. I still get nervous at night, I loath scary movies (haven't seen one since I was a teenager), and I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with a gasp or the occasionally scream (to Burke's great annoyance), convinced there was a shadowy man standing over our bed when I opened my eyes. When I hear noises in the house at 3 AM, I push Burke out of bed to make him go check on Daphne while I cower under the covers. When the sun rises and I am fully awake, I recognize just how silly I've been, but during the silence of the dark night, I am swallowed whole by the irrational. Burke has been incredibly patient with my fears and I have been so grateful to have him at my side, to soothe me and hold me when I wake up with my heart pounding and my hands clammy.
Recently, I had a conversation with Kristen about my embarrassing list of phobias when she started to chuckle and shake her head. She said she couldn't understand how someone who could get on a plane and travel to foreign country all by themselves could be prone to so many fears. As we talked, she surprised me when she said she had always thought of me as quite brave. She pointed out how I can get up and sing in front of a large audience with no problem, fly to Mexico for a semester knowing no one or make conversation with any stranger at any time. Situations that would terrify her I never gave a second thought. I appreciated her fresh point of view as for the first time in my life I realized that in my own way I can be...well...quite brave!
So, when Burke left for his training I was determined to be just that. He gave me a Priesthood Blessing before he left, reminding me to think rationally and that the power and protection of our Heavenly Father is far greater than the presence and protection of my husband.
And you know what? It was a great week! Of course Daphne and I missed our Daddy something fierce, but I found that when I had even a slight fluttering of nerves, I would reflect back on the words of that blessing and peace would fill my heart. When Burke came home to us at last, I felt like I had achieved something monumental - I had survived without any freakouts all week long!
I'm sure this seems to silly to many of you who have no problems wrestling with irrational fears of the dark, but to me it was a big break through. I have long felt the need to rid myself of these debilitating fears and replace them with faith and I am happy to say I think I am making progress at last!
Plus, Daphne and I had so much fun throughout the week! Here's a few of the things we did to stay busy.
As I've mentioned before, I am a 25-year-old 'fraidy-cat. I still get nervous at night, I loath scary movies (haven't seen one since I was a teenager), and I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with a gasp or the occasionally scream (to Burke's great annoyance), convinced there was a shadowy man standing over our bed when I opened my eyes. When I hear noises in the house at 3 AM, I push Burke out of bed to make him go check on Daphne while I cower under the covers. When the sun rises and I am fully awake, I recognize just how silly I've been, but during the silence of the dark night, I am swallowed whole by the irrational. Burke has been incredibly patient with my fears and I have been so grateful to have him at my side, to soothe me and hold me when I wake up with my heart pounding and my hands clammy.
Recently, I had a conversation with Kristen about my embarrassing list of phobias when she started to chuckle and shake her head. She said she couldn't understand how someone who could get on a plane and travel to foreign country all by themselves could be prone to so many fears. As we talked, she surprised me when she said she had always thought of me as quite brave. She pointed out how I can get up and sing in front of a large audience with no problem, fly to Mexico for a semester knowing no one or make conversation with any stranger at any time. Situations that would terrify her I never gave a second thought. I appreciated her fresh point of view as for the first time in my life I realized that in my own way I can be...well...quite brave!
So, when Burke left for his training I was determined to be just that. He gave me a Priesthood Blessing before he left, reminding me to think rationally and that the power and protection of our Heavenly Father is far greater than the presence and protection of my husband.
And you know what? It was a great week! Of course Daphne and I missed our Daddy something fierce, but I found that when I had even a slight fluttering of nerves, I would reflect back on the words of that blessing and peace would fill my heart. When Burke came home to us at last, I felt like I had achieved something monumental - I had survived without any freakouts all week long!
I'm sure this seems to silly to many of you who have no problems wrestling with irrational fears of the dark, but to me it was a big break through. I have long felt the need to rid myself of these debilitating fears and replace them with faith and I am happy to say I think I am making progress at last!
Plus, Daphne and I had so much fun throughout the week! Here's a few of the things we did to stay busy.
- Went to a Mom's Club meeting (a bit overwhelming with 30 kids!) where the SUU "Animal Ambassadors" came to show the kids a few critters and let them handle them as well. Daphne stroked the furry legs of a tarantula, the smooth scaly skin of a king snake, the soft spines of a hedgehog and the hard shell of a desert tortoise. However, she refused to touch the revolting bodies of the hissing Madagascar Cockroaches - smart kid.
- Went to the park every single day. What a beautiful autumn season we're having!
- Went for long walks and discovered this enormous Clydesdale. You probably can't tell here, but he was a BIG boy.
- Took a little trip to Krave for frozen yogurt and had fun drawing on the wall.
- The highlight for Daphne was when I took her to "Sesame Street Live" a musical with all of the giant Sesame Street characters. You can tell by the picture below that she was beyond pleased!
- But my favorite moment from the week by FAR was this
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