It's Baby Time

Well folks, it's official.  I will be laboring within the next 24 hours!  After praying and talking about the pros and cons of being induced, Burke and I decided that we would wait to see how I was at my appointment today.  If I had not progressed on my own, I decided that I would grit my teeth and bare my rash (which has spread to my thighs, calves, and hands and is driving me bonkers!) for a few more days until my due date.  However, when I went in this morning to meet with Dr. #3 (Doctor #2 left on her vacation shortly after Doctor #1 - real cool docs) he grimaced at the sight of my belly and said, "Well, let's see how you're doing inside."  Turns out I'm doing quite well!  I am dilated to a 3 and am now 90% effaced!  He said this dropped my chances of a C-section from 50/50 to 20/80.  I was thrilled, but still asked him if he thought I should wait.  He told me that my PUPS rash is pretty severe and with the way I am progressing on my own, he thinks my chances of a vaginal birth are very favorable.  He also made me feel better when he said that if the baby is doing ok, he is a very patient man and is willing to let me labor as long as I need to before resorting to a C-section.  I called Burke and we talked it through before I gave them the a-ok to schedule me to be induced tomorrow.  So, it looks like they will be calling me anywhere from midnight until noon to come in, which means our little lady should be in our arms within the next day or so!

I'm trying to process all my emotions right now.  My house is clean, my nursery is finished, my latest online assignments are turned in and my bags are packed.  So why do I feel so nervous and unprepared?  Is there any way to prepare for this enormous arena of questions and unknowns?

How will labor feel?  What will she look like?  Will she be healthy?  How will my relationship with Burke change after she arrives?  Am I going to be a good mother?

I feel like I am just hours away from having my world rocked to the core as I go from focusing on myself and my Burkie to suddenly having a little life completely dependent on me for everything.  It is so exciting, but so scary at the same time.  There is a tremendous weight of responsibility knowing that she will be influenced by us and will shape her life according to the love and nurturing we give her, the rules we set, the priorities we teach, the time we spend together and the environment we create.  I know I will make mistakes and wish that I could do some things different in hindsight.  However, with the love I already feel brimming over for this unborn babe, still stretching and growing inside me, I can't imagine every doing anything but my very best for her.  She has captured my heart already and she's not even here yet.  I can't wait to meet her, to name her, and to call her my own.  Ready or not, here she comes!

The last of the prego pictures!  Sweet Lydia loves to hold my belly and push her hands in and then gasp, "I felt her move!" Pretty cute, especially when the baby is asleep and hasn't budged an inch. :)

This will be my own so soon!