The Birth Story
For those of you who have no desire to hear gory details about Daphne's birth, feel free to skip this mammoth post. Readers Digest Version: 22 hours of labor, a c-section, and 5 days in the NICU = quite an exhausting experience.
Saturday morning I woke up at 4 AM with butterflies and couldn't go back to sleep. I went into the nursery and read through some labor tips and contemplated the changes coming before crawling into bed with Burke and making him talk with me around 6. The hospital called at 9:30 saying, "Are you ready for your epidural...I mean...induction?" I laughed and said I would take one of each, please. I felt surprisingly calm as we got ready, while Burke dashed around wringing his hands and breaking into nervous, wide-eyed laughter every few minutes.
We arrived at 10:00 and I got settled into our room by changing into a breezy hospital gown and climbing into bed to get my IV inserted. Honestly, I was the most scared of this part and for good reason as they dug painfully into my veins in two places before they taped it on. Burke made it through the first poke and was trying to cheer me on when his face went pale and the nurse commanded him to sit down. I have to admit, that made me nervous. 10 minutes in and my man was already down! :) HOWEVER, a sneak peak to the rest of the experience is that Burke was a champ from that moment on and was right by my side throughout the entire process.
Once I was hooked up, I was surprised to be informed that I was already having good sized contractions on my own that I hadn't even been feeling. At 10:30 my labor "officially" began as the Pitocin entered my blood stream and began to increase the frequency and intensity of my contractions. At 11:30 Dr. Benham arrived on the scene and talked about hiking the Grand Canyon while casually inserting a crochet-looking needle and breaking my water. I just felt a tiny bit of liquid and thought that was all until about 10 minutes later when I went to go to the bathroom and I suddenly had Niagara Falls gushing between my legs! Holy cow, I had NOT anticipated THAT much water and now I understand why you can not mistake it for peeing your pants. Dr. Benham said that I could have my epidural at any time, but I decided I wanted to feel a little bit of what labor was like before jumping to the drug.
Well, three more hours was plenty of labor experience for me! ow Ow OW! At 2:30 I asked for an epidural and by 3:00 when the anesthesiologist showed up, I was in enough pain to not care about the ginormous needle going into my back. Burke held my head and spoke words of encouragement while the doctor put it in (OW!) and then realized it was too far to one side and said he would have to do it again. I bawled. But 5 minutes later I was sucking on a yellow lollipop, laughing with Burke and really enjoying the experience, especially when I was told I was now at a 5!
The hours began to roll by quickly and so did my dilation. By 6:00 I was at a 7 and our wonderful nurse Bonnie anticipated the baby would be here by 10:00. We were stoked! Not so happy, however, when I measured at a 7 at 8:00, 10:00 and 11:00. We tried to sleep through the night as my progress continued to slow, but the machine would make this beeping sound every 15 minutes when it took my blood pressure and would wake us up. At 4:00 AM I was finally at a 10 and ready to push. We pushed for an hour and Burke saw her little head, but she wasn't quite ready. The nurses instructed me to sleep while the doctor came and I crashed, not too upset, feeling like there was still time to try. At 6:30 Dr. Benham came in and we began the process of pushing again. He became concerned immediately that he couldn't tell which way she was facing, that I had slowed in my dilation the last few hours and that my amniotic fluid felt so warm, an indication of infection. When he said in concern, "We need to get this baby out," I got really scared and started pushing with all my might. At this point I felt an excruciating pain in my shoulders where the nerves suddenly got pinched and with every push they throbbed more and more. I pushed for an hour and a half longer, was invaded by giant spoons (forceps) and had a whole team of NICU staff on standby right there in the room.
At this point Dr. Benham sat down and told Burke and I that my pelvis was too small and this baby was too big for it to come out. He said he could break my tailbone or do a c-section, but we needed to get her out soon as the warmth in my amniotic fluid indicated a possible infection for me and the baby. I started bawling as I agreed that a c-section was the right thing to do. It was the last thing in the world I wanted to do and I felt like such a failure for not being able to get her out, even though I pushed with all my might. Burke held me and encouraged me and promised me that everything was going to be okay.
While he changed into a silly looking white jumpsuit, cap and mask to come into the operating room, I was wheeled down the hall to the OR at about 8:40 (22 hours after starting the induction). When they moved me from my bed onto the operating table, the pinched nerve in my neck shot horrendous pains down my body worse than anything I had felt yet that day and I began to bawl my eyes out. My doctors were so attentive and tried to prop some towels under my shoulders for relief, but finally I just asked if they would be willing to join Burke in giving me a blessing. Dr. Benham brought out some consecrated oil and right there under the bright lights of the O.R. he and Dr. Nielsen (the anesthesiologist) joined Burke in giving me a blessing of health, peace and comfort. As soon as Burke laid his hands on my head I felt my body calming and the tension in my shoulders receding until the pain was completely gone. I felt such incredible peace and after the blessing I wasn't one bit scared as they placed the curtain up and began the cesarean operation. Burke held my hand and talked to me to distract me from the tugging and pulling as the doctors literally grunted through until suddenly there was a lifting of weight in my mid section and they called out, "It is a girl. It's a BIG girl!"
They rushed her past my head and Burke followed the flash of gray limbs and the chubbiest cheeks imaginable. I suddenly felt so exhausted and couldn't keep my eyes open as all the voices and colors and smells whirled together, all background to the image of those dark eyes and fat cheeks running through my head over and over again. Suddenly Burke was at my side again with one of the nurses who held our plump daughter in her hands right up next to my shoulder. I let out a gasp as her alert eyes locked on mine and I took in her perfect face. "She's so beautiful Burke," I kept saying over and over again. I only got to admire her for a minute before they rushed her off to the NICU. Burke kissed me on the forehead, told me how proud he was of me, and followed behind the nurse.
I don't remember much of anything else over the next couple of hours as I was stitched up and transferred from labor and delivery to our recovery room. All I wanted to do was see my baby, but until the epidural wore off and I could move my legs on my own, they wouldn't let me go down to the NICU. While we waited we decided that Daphne Marie Adams was the perfect name for our daughter now that we had seen her face. At long last I was able to get into a wheel chair and Burke and a nurse took me down to see her. When I saw her angel face fast asleep with wires and tubes rigged up all over her I couldn't help but cry again, in part because I instantly wanted her out of there, in part because I was instantly smitten with this perfect infant so fresh from heaven. When I took her in my arms and felt Burke's close around both of us I felt so strongly that we will be a forever family and that my sweet Daphne Marie was sent specifically to our family for her mortal experience. I feel so privileged and blessed to have been given the responsibility of being her mother. She is an amazing little spirit and I know it will be the delight of my life to watch her grow.
Thanks for all of the love, prayers and support. We felt them and know that everything turned out okay due in large part to the faith and prayers on our behalf. Love from our family to yours.
Headed to the hospital - last picture as a family of 2
Saturday morning I woke up at 4 AM with butterflies and couldn't go back to sleep. I went into the nursery and read through some labor tips and contemplated the changes coming before crawling into bed with Burke and making him talk with me around 6. The hospital called at 9:30 saying, "Are you ready for your epidural...I mean...induction?" I laughed and said I would take one of each, please. I felt surprisingly calm as we got ready, while Burke dashed around wringing his hands and breaking into nervous, wide-eyed laughter every few minutes.
We arrived at 10:00 and I got settled into our room by changing into a breezy hospital gown and climbing into bed to get my IV inserted. Honestly, I was the most scared of this part and for good reason as they dug painfully into my veins in two places before they taped it on. Burke made it through the first poke and was trying to cheer me on when his face went pale and the nurse commanded him to sit down. I have to admit, that made me nervous. 10 minutes in and my man was already down! :) HOWEVER, a sneak peak to the rest of the experience is that Burke was a champ from that moment on and was right by my side throughout the entire process.
A few hours into labor
Once I was hooked up, I was surprised to be informed that I was already having good sized contractions on my own that I hadn't even been feeling. At 10:30 my labor "officially" began as the Pitocin entered my blood stream and began to increase the frequency and intensity of my contractions. At 11:30 Dr. Benham arrived on the scene and talked about hiking the Grand Canyon while casually inserting a crochet-looking needle and breaking my water. I just felt a tiny bit of liquid and thought that was all until about 10 minutes later when I went to go to the bathroom and I suddenly had Niagara Falls gushing between my legs! Holy cow, I had NOT anticipated THAT much water and now I understand why you can not mistake it for peeing your pants. Dr. Benham said that I could have my epidural at any time, but I decided I wanted to feel a little bit of what labor was like before jumping to the drug.
Well, three more hours was plenty of labor experience for me! ow Ow OW! At 2:30 I asked for an epidural and by 3:00 when the anesthesiologist showed up, I was in enough pain to not care about the ginormous needle going into my back. Burke held my head and spoke words of encouragement while the doctor put it in (OW!) and then realized it was too far to one side and said he would have to do it again. I bawled. But 5 minutes later I was sucking on a yellow lollipop, laughing with Burke and really enjoying the experience, especially when I was told I was now at a 5!
The hours began to roll by quickly and so did my dilation. By 6:00 I was at a 7 and our wonderful nurse Bonnie anticipated the baby would be here by 10:00. We were stoked! Not so happy, however, when I measured at a 7 at 8:00, 10:00 and 11:00. We tried to sleep through the night as my progress continued to slow, but the machine would make this beeping sound every 15 minutes when it took my blood pressure and would wake us up. At 4:00 AM I was finally at a 10 and ready to push. We pushed for an hour and Burke saw her little head, but she wasn't quite ready. The nurses instructed me to sleep while the doctor came and I crashed, not too upset, feeling like there was still time to try. At 6:30 Dr. Benham came in and we began the process of pushing again. He became concerned immediately that he couldn't tell which way she was facing, that I had slowed in my dilation the last few hours and that my amniotic fluid felt so warm, an indication of infection. When he said in concern, "We need to get this baby out," I got really scared and started pushing with all my might. At this point I felt an excruciating pain in my shoulders where the nerves suddenly got pinched and with every push they throbbed more and more. I pushed for an hour and a half longer, was invaded by giant spoons (forceps) and had a whole team of NICU staff on standby right there in the room.
At this point Dr. Benham sat down and told Burke and I that my pelvis was too small and this baby was too big for it to come out. He said he could break my tailbone or do a c-section, but we needed to get her out soon as the warmth in my amniotic fluid indicated a possible infection for me and the baby. I started bawling as I agreed that a c-section was the right thing to do. It was the last thing in the world I wanted to do and I felt like such a failure for not being able to get her out, even though I pushed with all my might. Burke held me and encouraged me and promised me that everything was going to be okay.
While he changed into a silly looking white jumpsuit, cap and mask to come into the operating room, I was wheeled down the hall to the OR at about 8:40 (22 hours after starting the induction). When they moved me from my bed onto the operating table, the pinched nerve in my neck shot horrendous pains down my body worse than anything I had felt yet that day and I began to bawl my eyes out. My doctors were so attentive and tried to prop some towels under my shoulders for relief, but finally I just asked if they would be willing to join Burke in giving me a blessing. Dr. Benham brought out some consecrated oil and right there under the bright lights of the O.R. he and Dr. Nielsen (the anesthesiologist) joined Burke in giving me a blessing of health, peace and comfort. As soon as Burke laid his hands on my head I felt my body calming and the tension in my shoulders receding until the pain was completely gone. I felt such incredible peace and after the blessing I wasn't one bit scared as they placed the curtain up and began the cesarean operation. Burke held my hand and talked to me to distract me from the tugging and pulling as the doctors literally grunted through until suddenly there was a lifting of weight in my mid section and they called out, "It is a girl. It's a BIG girl!"
They rushed her past my head and Burke followed the flash of gray limbs and the chubbiest cheeks imaginable. I suddenly felt so exhausted and couldn't keep my eyes open as all the voices and colors and smells whirled together, all background to the image of those dark eyes and fat cheeks running through my head over and over again. Suddenly Burke was at my side again with one of the nurses who held our plump daughter in her hands right up next to my shoulder. I let out a gasp as her alert eyes locked on mine and I took in her perfect face. "She's so beautiful Burke," I kept saying over and over again. I only got to admire her for a minute before they rushed her off to the NICU. Burke kissed me on the forehead, told me how proud he was of me, and followed behind the nurse.
I don't remember much of anything else over the next couple of hours as I was stitched up and transferred from labor and delivery to our recovery room. All I wanted to do was see my baby, but until the epidural wore off and I could move my legs on my own, they wouldn't let me go down to the NICU. While we waited we decided that Daphne Marie Adams was the perfect name for our daughter now that we had seen her face. At long last I was able to get into a wheel chair and Burke and a nurse took me down to see her. When I saw her angel face fast asleep with wires and tubes rigged up all over her I couldn't help but cry again, in part because I instantly wanted her out of there, in part because I was instantly smitten with this perfect infant so fresh from heaven. When I took her in my arms and felt Burke's close around both of us I felt so strongly that we will be a forever family and that my sweet Daphne Marie was sent specifically to our family for her mortal experience. I feel so privileged and blessed to have been given the responsibility of being her mother. She is an amazing little spirit and I know it will be the delight of my life to watch her grow.
Thanks for all of the love, prayers and support. We felt them and know that everything turned out okay due in large part to the faith and prayers on our behalf. Love from our family to yours.
Comments
PS I can't believe it has been 2 years since you got married! I feel like it was just yesterday.