The News Van

On Tuesday a 3-year-old little girl drowned in the river right down the road from our house.  I went to pick up Burke from work and we couldn't figure out why there were two helicopters hovering in the sky or where the constant whir of police cars and ambulances were rushing to.  Later that night when we heard the news I felt sick to my stomach.  Ever since becoming a parent I feel like tragedies with children hit much closer to home.  I couldn't stop imagining how the parents must feel as I thought about my own nieces and nephews who are 3 and how devastating it would be to lose any of them.

That night we were driving home from Cross Fit and passed a news van, clearly sent to report on the accident. For some reason it made me so disgusted.  I understand that capturing the news is a job and that tragedies "make" news, but for a moment I had this picture in my mind of a young mother who's world had just come crashing in with cameras and microphones thrust in her face being asked harsh questions that she probably didn't even know the answers to herself: How could this happen?  Where were you?  How do you feel?

I wondered how I would respond in this situation.  How could you not be bitter about such an invasion in your moment of grief?  How could you, as a reporter, record such an awful moment without caring the weight of those feelings all your life?

It reminded me of one of the most powerful movies I saw years ago called "Mad City" with Dustin Hoffman (one of my top 5 favorite actors of all time) and John Travolta.  Basically Travolta's character makes a poor decision that Hoffman's character (a news reporter) is there to witness and seizes on it as the ultimate "story" of his career.  So he exploits Travolta and by the end of the film destroys his life just for the glory of being the one who covered it on national television.  

I thought about being a mother and how it has changed my world dramatically and altered me in such a positive way.  I thought about the responsibility that weighs on me to raise this darling child to be healthy, intelligent, kind and faithful.  I thought about the black hole that would consume me if I were to lose my daughter for I can not imagine my life without her.

All these thoughts went through my head as I saw that news van drive past.  As my emotions swirled around I looked into the backseat baby mirror where my sweet babe sat strapped into her car seat, playing with a toy while happily babbling incessantly to herself.  I pray I will never be the one being asked the question, How did it happen?