Movement

On Friday I had an appointment to go over the results of my ultrasound.  When the doc put the doppler machine thingy on my belly to hear the baby's heartbeat it took him what felt like an eternity to find it.  Long enough for me to work up some rising panic, only to be washed away when the little wooshing sounds came out loud and clear.  Phew.  "So you're feeling baby often now, right?" he asked nonchalantly.  Panic began rising again, "Um...no...I haven't felt her at all."  He looked surprised and then covered with situational stories of women where the placenta has blocked feeling the movement for a few weeks.

When I got home I just couldn't stop feeling my belly.  Little lady?  You in there?  Everything okay sweet angel? No answer.

I tried not to worry, but every time I glanced down at my growing bump I wondered where she was.  Why wasn't I feeling her?

This morning I woke up in the dark of the early hours, wide awake.  I cradled my belly in my arms and thought about lesson plans and novel discussions.  And then...I felt her.  There was no denying it, my little cantaloupe (that's how big she is now!) was saying hello at last.  I will never be able to describe the little bulging feeling of your skin being pressed from the inside towards the out.  But it was miraculous.

I wanted to reach over and shake Burke awake, but realized how dead tired we have both felt the last few days and resisted the urge.  Minutes later he rolled over and opened his eyes, wrapping his strong arms around me.  I was grinning.  "What is it?" he mumbled.

I felt so silly crying, but all I could say was, "I felt her, honey.  I finally felt her!"